Page 79 - FLIPBOOK - Life of Saint Gerard Majella - Vassall-Phillips
P. 79
LIFE OF SAINT GERARD MAJELLA
hearted and loyal trust, which was proof against the most untoward
appearances, wrote him letters of affectionate sympathy and
encouragement, that he could not fail to value highly. But the Holy
Spirit, the Comforter, was Himself His servant's supreme Consoler in
this his hour of dire distress.
During the years of his triumphs, when ecstasies and miracles
were habitual with him, when he was held in the universal esteem of
his fellow-men, and regarded by all who knew him as a marvellous
Saint, he was being purified the while in the crucible of terrible
interior sufferings. Men called him the spoiled favourite of Heaven,
and he all the time, though they knew it not, was a prey to mysterious
trials, known in all their intensity only to the greatest of God's chosen
servants.
The fear lest, in punishment of that which his tender conscience
deemed his infidelities to grace, he should be cast away from the
Presence of the Divine Majesty for all Eternity, haunted him by night
and gave him no peace by day. A darkness that could be felt
enveloped his soul. Would it truly ever be his to see the Beautiful
Face of Jesus Christ? Would it ever be his to stand with Prophets and
with Martyrs, with the Forerunner of the Messias, with Virgins and
with Confessors, with the Apostles of the Lamb, with the great
Foster Father of Our Lord and the Immaculate Mother of God
herself, in the Ranks of the Redeemed round about the Throne of the
Eternal? Dared he raise his hopes to such a height as this? And then
there came from Satan a dark temptation — the full anguish of which
can only be realized by those who love God with the love of the
Saints — the temptation to despair. Never for one moment did he
yield, though the onslaughts of the enemy seemed to rend his very
heart in twain.
“As the gold is tried in the fire, so is the acceptable man in the
furnace of tribulations.”
But now that he was in deep disgrace, even with St. Alphonsus his
Father, now that many looked upon him askance, as upon a hypocrite
who had been found out — now was the time of Divine
Compensations. Light and grace flooded his soul with heavenly joy.
God seemed once more to speak face to face with His faithful son.
The sensible consolations of his childhood were once more renewed.
In a different form, indeed, but none the less truly, were they his
again. He seemed almost to enjoy the unveiled vision of his God.
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